About Me : Andy Moore

Quantum entangled Hermetic Hermit vibin' in space time

I spent the equivalent of £500,000 on LSD
Please don't expect me to be normal, that's just silly!

It is the greatest mistake to think that man is always one and the same. A man is never the same for long. He is continually changing. He seldom remains the same even for half an hour.

G. I. Gurdjieff

I'm not going to confirm to what you want of me, I'd rather die, thanks!

It's possible those mushrooms in 1990 never stopped working, can't be certain...

I'm dangerously not normal, and I fucking love it. Try changing me at thy own peril. 

I've got a really bizarre and random mix of skills: I can turn whale shit into something that smells so good strangers want to hug you, can made adverts that make people feel insecure and insignificant enough to want to buy some overpriced junk they don't need and can't afford, can make compelling radio content that helps people forget how much they hate the mundanity of their jobs, can create spoken and written content that makes people actually think, can form fine paper sheets and make books from them, can stitch a needle and turn a vintage hand crank sewing machine, can whisper cats, and can cook like I used to work with a very sweary Scottish chef who suffered from the pain of having a  Michellin Star lodged up his arse...

The best thing I ever cooked was LSD topped space buns! Amazing, me and a mate spoke to lights in the sky that night and they answered back. Shame about that acid though, bought it with BitCoin when it was dirt cheap, like £7.50 a pop, looking back those trips were about £65,000 each, oh well, I don't know of many people who blew about half a million on acid... 

I've been piss poor and I've been wadded, had months where five figures easily flowed to me whilst I got off my box, I peaked at $100,000 a month in the US before my world kinda blew up a bit, I've been worth a million on paper and played silly games with debt collector goons.  Guess what? I won, had one bunch of clowns end up paying me £500, muppets! lol

I don't watch television or listen to the radio, I don't vote and have never believed in politics, I don't use the NHS and haven't been to a Doctors in well over a decade, why the hell would anyone wanna do any of those things? 

I'm a walking Pirate's Cookbook of random creativty and really good at being me, I'd rather die than be anything else! I have zero fear of death, none. I know I'm immortal energy that can not be destroyed. I can be as dangerous with my life as I wish, and if you try to change me I might be dangerous with yours too. Probably just best to leave me the fuck alone to do my own thing, yeah? Appreciated.

(Shove your spectrums up your arse: they're superpowers, I swear 'normies' are fucking retarded)

Arts

• Alchemist: I'm a cornucopia of chaotic chemistry, part by accident, partly by design
  I had fun as a teen with mixing certain chemicals together and never really grew out of it...
• Author: I've written long-form content for the web, newspaper columns, technical guides and tutorials
  I've turned down publishing deals as the speed of information is quicker than it can be printed
• Audio Producer: from commercials and radio features, to interviews and long-form content cleanup
  I can splice 1/4 inch tape and remember the good old days of Cool Edit Pro and dodgy serial numbers...
• Bookbinder: hand crafting luxury notebooks from beautiful materials that are made to last a lifetime
  I prefer binding books to reading them! My books are the most beautiful things I've ever created
• Broadcaster: voice tracked presenter, live radio host, AM, FM, DAB, Streams, Alexa
  I just can't be arsed with radio these days, it's all just homogonised shite and cancer for the ears
• Coder / Developer: writing a vision into working code from scratch is an underappreciated digital artform
  I can code, but I'd rather not as frankly having my head in a server isn't good for my soul and pisses me off
• Ebru ( cloud art ) / Suminagashi ( floating ink ) Paper Marbler: creating unique designs for book endpapers
  I've made stunning hallucination like artforms appear on paper through floating ink and a bed of carrageenan size
• Leather Crafter: I create solid and sturdy wallets with fine veg tanned leathers
  I'm still a long, long way from being any 'good' but my phone's case and family's wallets are all handmade
• Paper Maker: forming sheets of paper with a deckle and mould from upcycled 100% cotton and binding stock
  I've manged to get a sheet as thin as 22 gsm, my aim is to make something thin enough to roll a joint with
• Perfumier: designer and crafter of natural and synthetic olfactory experiences 
  A mate once said "that's the best smell ever" about a cologne I'd mixed, shame it could never be recreated!
• Pianist: I got pissed one night, heard Guns n' Roses Prostitue and decided to buy a piano, thanks Dizzy! 
  I can only play when coming down from a hard night of abuse including Smirnoff, JD and cocaine ( I'm clean now! )
• Psy: I've what some might perceive as some 'voodoo woo dark arts shit' going on around me, it just is
  I can call some things before they happen, I just see them clearly before the actual event unfolds in this supposed reality 
• Voice Over Artist: bringing words to life for commercials, radio features, corporate and long-form narration
  I've got a studio that's pretty banging and sounds shit hot, I'm just not whoring my voice out for five bucks!

Accomplishments

• Sony Bronze Radio Station of the Year award winner
• Market leading RAJAR listening figures
• Katz International Radio Sales Traffic Newcomer of the Year award winner
• First voice to broadcast live on DAB in the UK
• First merchant and customer to transact live on the mobile web with PayPal
• Presented on the future of mobile for PayPal in London
• Negotiated international mobile payment solutions
• Negotiated giant ringtone and music download libraries
• Played a humble yet significant role in making it easy to publish on the mobile web
• First dotMobi / mTLD certified Mobile Web Developer
• Cited multiple times in books on Mobile Web Development
• Over a quarter of a million people used my software
• Jawdropping globally known brands used my code: NASA, Nintendo, Stanford, Shrek / DreamWorks
• Turned down working with Vogue, the US Military, M.I.T. and the University of Niarobi 
• Built an online food delivery service a year before Just Eat launched
• I can craft a cologne, thread a needle, work a mixing desk and a vintage Singer sewing machine, create leather wallets and bind books
• I form fine sheets of hand crafted artisan paper, like 22 gsm fine but I wanna skin up with my own papers
• I look and feel both fitter and healthier nearing fifty than I did nearing thirty: that's a huge accomplishment!
• Am slimmer now than I have ever been
• I'm liberated enough mentally to not give a fuck what you think of me and it's really wonderful 
• AI age detection thinks I look between 5 and 24 years younger than I am: almost half my age, loving it!

Voiceover Artist / Radio Voice Tracker / Live Host

• Check out my professionally equipped Voiceover Studio

Streaming

• Helped 1,000+ radio stations Stream to Alexa devices, including national and international brand franchises
• Wrote a cloud based radio playout system with Icecast, LiquidSoap and HLS that
  • Runs on autopilot mode 24 hours a day
  • Dayparts music rotations
  • Inserts News and other features
  • Supports live presenters
  • Backtimes to the hour top better than 95% of presenters in a studio
  • Comes with an advanced track cue point editor
  • Supports over a million concurrent listeners

Mobile Web Development

"One day everything will work on a mobile phone"
Me, speaknig at PayPal "MUSIC" (Mobile UK Summer Immersion Camp) Event, 2005
Now, here we are 20 years later and whilst I was right, I kinda wish I wasn't...
The world is full of phone zombies: sorry, I contributed to that.

"As of November 2024, 64.04% of all internet traffic comes from mobile devices, while 35.96% comes from desktop"

People looked at me like I'd shit on a kitten when I said mobile browsing wouild overtake desktop use, guess what? I was right, again!
Frankly, I was more than 20 years ahead of those potato brained fucktards who lacked any vision or foresight.

Wanna know what happens next? I don't think you're ready for that; but think Fahrenheit 451, 1984 and Brave New World... 

• Wrote a mobile content platform for all types of ringtone; graphics, videos, games and music downloads
• Sourced, negotiated and licensed a mobile content library of over 50,000 ringtones
• Sold ringtones to the public: provided mobile content to networks, industry / media partners, and globally known brands
• The first .mobi mTLD Certified Mobile Web Developer
• Entered the music download market: sourced and managed an inventory of 6,500,000+ legal songs from all the big labels
• Wrote a ground-breaking reverse billed / premium SMS powered mobile web billing system with phenomenal repeat sales
• Sourced, negotiated and integrated premium rate payment solutions in 24 countries
• Full credit to a guy named Simon Robinson who set me up with my first WML application

Innovation

• Wrote a PHP based 'Mobile Device Detection' system that was used by 100,000+ sites including many global brand names
• Users included DreamWorks entire online portfolio inc Shrek.com, NASA's Earth Observatory, Nintendo and Stanford
• Wrote 'Wordpress Mobile Plugin' which was used on 100,000+ sites
• Presented for PayPal at an event in London about the future of the mobile web
  The first merchant and customer to do a live transaction on PayPal Mobile
• Books that mention my work include:
  • Mobile Web Design: Cameron Moll
  • Mobile Web Design and Development: Brian Fling
  • Mobile Web Design for Dummies: Janine Warner and David LaFontaine

Archived Projects

No, I don't wish for you to contact me.
No, I don't wanna catch up after all these years.